For the first time in years I watched the Grammy Awards. Although I hadn't planned to watch until my adolescent son asked me to join him in front of the TV, I found myself rooting for the Dixie Chicks over and over again, and being overjoyed for them each time they won another award - five in all. (I also found myself wondering "what the heck is that about?" when Gnarles Barkley performed in airline pilot get-ups...)Anyhoo...What I realized along the way was that I was rooting not so much for the music per se as I was for the catharsis and steps toward healing that the music provided. I have the Chicks' CD, Taking the Long Way, that they were being lauded for and had been very moved by the song that won big for them: Not Ready to Make Nice. If you've missed the press on this one, basically the story is that while they were performing in London in 2003, lead singer, Natalie Maines told the audience, "Just so you know, we're ashamed the president of the United States is from Texas" (as is Maines). Shortly after that show they appeared in an interview by Diane Sawyer where Maines offered an olive branch saying that she felt bad that she had characterized her opposition to the war in a way that came across as disrespectful. Even still, as a result of Maines' earlier comments, the Chicks began to receive death threats and loads of hate mail. "Not Ready to Make Nice" was the response to those threats. It's about First Amendment Rights and about the disbelief that a comment made by someone searching for answers to what they considered an unjust war would engender such vitriolic response. The lyrics to this song, written with collaborator Dan Wilson follows:
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
I’m through with doubt
There’s nothing left for me to figure out
I’ve paid a price
And I’ll keep paying
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
I know you said
Can’t you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I don’t mind sayin’
It’s a sad sad story when a mother will teach her
Daughter that she ought to hate a perfect stranger
And how in the world can the words that I said
Send somebody so over the edge
That they’d write me a letter
Sayin’ that I better shut up and sing
Or my life will be over
I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and
I don’t have time to go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should
Forgive, sounds good
Forget, I’m not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But I’m still waiting
************************
As I said, I think the lyrics are powerful. But the impassioned singing and the haunting guitar chords behind the lyrics are just as powerful and make this song the winner that it is. When put together, the total package is heartfelt, brave and bold... and raises major questions for me about how we handle forgiveness and by extension, reconciliation.
In my experience, its often not the initial "breach" that causes the biggest upset, but the way that breach is responded to. Maines made comments that arguably were offensive. However, when confronted with that information, she was penitent and said that she did, in fact, regret the offense that she had cause and apologized for being "disrespectful." She added, with a great deal of integrity though, the fact that she still had questions and didn't understand President Bush's decision to lead the US into war in Iraq. And yet, somehow for some folks that just wasn't enough. Why?
Did her apology fall on deaf ears? Were there people who were so angry that they never heard about the apology? Or were they simply folks who weren't going to let the issue drop out of self-righteous indignation? Somehow, somewhere along the way, some hearts were hardened. The result is that the threatening response to the original comments were a much greater breach of trust than the original comments ever were. The fact that the country music industry, according to an article in today's Washington Times, "still isn't ready to make nice" is indicative of the level of anger and arrogance that lies just under the surface of our culture. And it's indicative of how, when we aren't willing to offer forgiveness to a penitent, we can end up creating a worse situation for everyone. And that situation can become a script for our lives. What a shame. Thankfully, the Chicks found a creative, healthy, and cathartic way to deal with the new breach: a new song.
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